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Book Review: The Philosophy of Friendship

A page in the diary "Accept, Adapt and Appreciate: How?"
Written by nw4m Sep 6 2008 12:11 PM

Author: Mark Vernon

Questions rarely being asked (about friendship)

..What exactly is friendship? What is its nature, its rules, its promise?

How can one differentiate between its many forms? How does it compare to and mix with the connections shared between lovers and within families?

If at least a kind of friendship is elastic enough to survive the relational stresses and strains of our flexible ways of life, is that friendship also strong enough to bear the burden of the human need to belong, to be connected, to be loved?

The author's aim

..My aim is not to try to produce a comprehensive definition or theory of friendship.

Rather, the value of asking about friendship lies in the asking, not necessarily in coming to any incontestable conclusions.

Philosophy as a resource for thinking through friendship

..only a relatively small number of philosophers have written on the subject at any length. What is more, those that have, although generally agreeing that friendship is essential for a happy life, also say that it provides no automatic satisfaction of human desires for deeper relationships or society's need for connection.

..The implication is that the best kinds of friendships are only possible between people who properly value it and who understand how many things from the personal to the political can compromise, undermine and destroy it.

There is an art to friendship. The hope is that philosophy can teach something about it.

The Last Chapter in the book - Conclusion: Philosophy and Friendship

...to truly befriend others is to stare life's uncertainties, limits and ambiguities in the face.

To seek friendship is to seek wisdom.
________________________________________________

nw4m: What do you think or feel about this sentence 'To seek friendship is to seek wisdom'?

In a way, I sort of agree with the statement due to personal experiences gained so far in my life.

What is wisdom and how does one go about cultivating it?

Through constant or consistent efforts in deep self-reflection. By being honest, humble and sincere with oneself during every moment while you are doing self-reflection.

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Comments from the community:

I think we all need friends, there are different levels in friendship. There may be one or two friends that share the same backgroud and you can share with them your insecurities. There are some friends that share similar interests and can share the knowledge. There are certain things that you can share with this friend and not that friend. It is quite hard to find a "perfect" good friend. Nobody's perfect. But I guess I need an emphatic and kind frined. I usually don't mix with people who put me down. I don't need their friendships. But I think we need to have some friends. Becareful though not everyone will appreciate your friendship and kindness. And there are some people who simply do not like you and for no reason at all. Haha...I noticed myself that when people do not reciprocate, I feel upset. My question is can I give without expecting any return from friends? And why can't I do it? Can you treat someone as friend when she treats you like shit?

Written by emmanuel, Sep 19 2008 06:56 PM