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News article: Aspects of Love

A page in the diary "Accept, Adapt and Appreciate: How?"
Written by nw4m Feb 11 2008 01:44 PM

This is a special report published on ST Saturday, 09 February 2008.

It begins by saying: What makes love last, once the rapture and sonnets are over? As Valentine's Day and its Chinese equivalent Yuan Xiao Jie (Chinese Lantern Festival) approach, Wong Kim Hoh and Ho Ai Li bring you eight stories that will warm the cockles of your heart.

There is even a wise quote provided in this special report:

"Young love is about wanting to be happy. Old love is about wanting someone else to be happy." - Psychologist Mary Phipher

Of the 8 stories, I like those from the following couples:

Mr Kor Hong Fatt, 76 and wife Madam Wang Siew Eng, 75.

Touching parts: He makes sure he stays fit so that he can take care of his wife, who suffers partial stroke on the right side of the body. He has been bathing her daily ever since.

Although they have very different interests, they enjoy an idyllic and very happy marriage. Mr Kor was active and enjoyed travelling while his wife was a model homemaker.

Mr Ezzy Wang, 42 and wife, Fifi Siow, 44

Touching parts: Mr Wang was a very successful insurance sales agent before he became a trainer. However, he almost failed to nail the most important contract of his life: marriage with the woman of his dreams.

Mr Wang is an amputee who lost his right leg to a rare form of bone cancer. He first got to know operations and marketing officer Fifi Siow over the phone in 2000.

Later he picked up the courage to ask Ms Siow to be her girlfriend two days into a tour to Sichuan, China. But he was disappointed when she said she would think about it.

A couple of days later, she extended her hand to help him get into the tour van and it was her way of saying yes, but Mr Wang did not notice that.

He asked her out again only a few months later. Things went well, but barely a year, he broke off the relationship; telling Ms Siow that their personalities didn't match and that she nagged too much. He was actually full of doubt about himself.

He had never been in a relationship before, and he worried how people would react and if she would grow to resent him. He also agonised over whether he was actually "shortchanging" her if they got married. Ms Siow says she felt very hurt when he broke off with her.

It took a little accident one year later to reunite them. Ms Siow was involved in a minor car accident while her parents were away.

She called him and he helped her with all that was necessary. Things picked up from there. They tied the knot last year after 3 years of courtship.

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Comments from the community:

love as in romance aspect of love only hurts. People like us with depression are not able to socialise and in the end, love hurts more as it turned sour..been into it and cant get over it..why are we so unlucky, why cant the norms be a little bit more patience...and tolerant towards us..

Written by kelly79, Feb 11 2008 02:55 PM

because they don't understand... how can they? they are not in our shoes

some depressives are social people, depression makes them want to be alone... its good and bad actually.. its a test for their love ones... if they truly love us the relationship is strong.. makes each other special

take heart

Written by Anonymous, Feb 11 2008 06:08 PM

Hi kelly79, maybe some or most normal people out there can't or don't want to understand us. We can't expect or demand that they do. It's just not healthy for anyone to do that. It makes both parties frustrated and resentful at the end of it.

But there's something we can do: We can learn to be patient, understanding towards fellow sufferers, towards family members or friends who don't understand us, and try to see things from their point of view.

Believe me, trying to see things from my parent's point of view has not been simple and I have not succeeded yet. But I hope, with everyone's encouragement and guidance, plus my own effort in self-reflection, one day I will be able to see things in a fresh and positive light.

Written by nw4m, Feb 13 2008 02:50 PM