Read diary

Comments from the community:

wrk shdnt b 100% of our life but sadly it is- used 2b, now is n will still b-- all due to our pursuit of materialistic wealth ie jus like in thailand, bangkok now... everythgs 2 do wif money n money is politics which is downright unspeakeable; anyway, hope u'l find ur 'Anything" --get the joke?!

Written by 71damsel, Sep 3 2008 11:50 PM

wow, whatever for a moment i thought that we worked at the same place. my job is the same. the restroom is the best place to cry. i find myself in the restroom with the lights out cry my eyes out. you're right, fighting the tears is very hard to do. please don't take them all at once. i don't know when, but i feel as if things will get better.

for the longest time i couldn't figure out why i had some much pain inside of me. my heart would hurt everyday along with these terrible headaches that would go away. i was so anger. i thought that maybe making the coworkers, who make my life harder than what it should be, vanish with a magical wond would make me feel better. but i couldn't make that happened but i have found that acting as if they don't exist helps. i don't anybody unless it's something serious about my job position. other than that i don't talk to them. they can talk to me but i don't respond to them at all. i don't even look their way.

i don't want to say quit or stay. try to focus on something else like a long term goal or maybe a short term goal. make plans to look forward to. i know it's easier said than done because i'm still trying to do that myself. we can do it. we have the depnet family and we are here.

smile for better days

Written by Bella, Sep 4 2008 12:16 PM

Thanks! I am trying to make plans but so to how it will turn out, I dont really know. :(

I've tried sticking to my own business, trying hard to ignore those office politics, but even when I dont trouble trouble, trouble still come and trouble me. *sigh*.

The earth is big, but I can't find my place on this earth. I am starting to get panic attacks about the future, if I have any.

Written by Whatever, Sep 4 2008 09:17 PM

There are a few things we can do:

1) Find a place we feel comfortable with on earth, to call it home, to feel a sense of belonging.

OR

2) Adapt and appreciate wherever we live or work in.

天大地大，是否有我容身之处？
有，一定有。
只要我肯找，只要我不放弃。

All the best for your immediate or future plans, whatever.

Take care. ^_^

Written by nw4m, Sep 5 2008 01:59 AM

hi, whatever
that is very true. they are not going to make it easy at all. making plans is easy but it's keeping the plans that's the hard part. because i always end up calling and canceling my plans. i try to be so brave but it's hard when you feel that everyone around you know a secret to life happiness and they are not telling me. you have a place here at depnet with us :)

smile for better days

Written by Bella, Sep 5 2008 11:40 AM

there's no secret.

why don't you work with your shrink or therapist and find a way together.. reducing meds is probably the problem.

Written by Anonymous, Sep 5 2008 03:51 PM

jaded

you are right. i'm still looking for another pdoc. because the one i had last time could only have five sessions with me. that's not enough time. she is a part of our employee assistant program. i don't know what to look for in one.

Written by Bella, Sep 6 2008 11:49 AM

stop complaining. its very obvious to me that u are depressed and u should start to solve ur problems by doing things and ur emotions will subside. ur thoughts should not be to quit ur job , reducing ur emotions to work is much better, u just have to rely on medication if u cant do it. very cynical and dark perspective. lighten up!

Written by light, Sep 6 2008 09:27 PM

Hi light,

Sorry if you thought I'm complaining. Maybe I am. I just wanted to vent my frustrations instead of bottling it up. I have no one to talk to so I turned to Depnet. The encouragements here so far have helped me a little; I'm thankful for that. But it seems like my complaining is probably wearing some of you down too. Guess I have no place here with my complaints. Sorry to have bother all of you, but thank you too, for taking the time to read my posts.

Take care everyone.

Written by Whatever, Sep 7 2008 11:40 AM

- light = revise your comments and think about them. I know who you are. Think before you say or do anything otherwise you will succeed in killing off relationships with people.

- Whatever = Just ignore her comments. They don't make sense 99% of the time.

Written by Annieluv, Sep 7 2008 09:15 PM

hi whatever
i agree with annieluv. ignore light. because venting is very important. if you would have never vented about "to quit or not to quit", i would have thought that i was the only one having problems like that on the job. not being the only ease the pain. it makes me almost normal to know that someone else is going through the same thing that i am.
thank you whatever. i glad you vented. it helped me.

smile for better days

Written by Bella, Sep 11 2008 01:43 AM

I am facing the same dilemma too. I work in the social services sector. I have always had a very good impression of the sector....thinking that people go into it for passion and not for money. I guess I was WRONG. I have faced discrimination and backstabbing of all kinds. Unethical behavior is a common sight and it does make me wonder if I am on the wrong planet. My superior is a very edgy, impatient person who has low tolerance for mistakes. Being new on the job, hence I have been on the receiving end of her outbursts/poor work attitude. I feel that my forgetfulness, caused by my depression, do affect my competency and people mistake it as me being irresponsible and a trouble-maker. I went to work today, despite having a fever, and all I got was a lengthy scolding over the phone. All kinds of awful words were spat out and I really had the urge to slam down the phone. I was really so pissed off. I bursted into tears and when another superior came into the room, together with the Admin/HR Executive, my life came apart. I had to admit that I have depression and words of accusations flew around (did u tell the manager? are you suicidal?). I am planning to quit on Monday. I am just so tired of being accused / misunderstood by people.

Written by liearn, Sep 14 2008 01:59 AM