The question was submitted
07/17/2008
Subject: Sleep - my elusive friend
Hi,
I'm Hannah and here - meet my elusive "friend" - sleep. We've been playing "hide & seek" since childhood and over time, sleep's gotten real good at the game.
For some reason unknown to me, I made it through the years with minimal sleep. I think I did quite well. Until, 2 years ago, that is - when my world collapsed as I watched my closest friend, my father die from a terminal illness; when i had to go surgery & suffer the complications at the same time; when all that could ever go wrong went wrong; when major depression sneaked in by the back door, and grief overwhelms me. Sleep became elusive. I've both problem falling asleep and problem staying asleep.
I've been taking Immovane (15mg) for some time now. Occasionally, I take a tranquilizer like Alprazolam to help. Before my dad's passing, it was ok. Now, nothing seems to help calm my restless mind. [By the way, I've tried "Good Sleep Habits 101 for Idiots". Didn't work.]
Sleep's now an elusive part of my life, but no doubt an invaluable one. The now sleep-starved me am not only angry at Sleep, but also tired of my exhausting life journey.
Sleep could have been a good journey partner and be a help to overcoming my struggles. Instead, it's chosen to be a fiend instead.
I'm tired.
Answer from DepNet
Hi Hannah,
We hope your coping has stabilized somewhat since your last letter. Sometimes it helps to get together & share good memories of the departed loved one with family & friends. The life events you’ve undergone for the past few years would have taken a toll on anyone & one may lose sleep over it; making life more difficult. So… let’s do a bit of detective work & unravel the mystery – Sleep! where art thou?
If Sleep could have a voice, what would it say? How would it see you? Has Sleep deliberately chosen to be a fiend, or is itself having difficulties coming near you, since Restless Mind (overactive mind, Depression, Grief & perhaps other thoughts) seems to be separating both of you when you’d really welcome it.
It’s good that you know that Restless Mind needed calming before Sleep can approach. It can be disheartening when results are not immediate. On the other hand, after not being able to approach for so long, it needs consistent reassuring practice of Good Sleep Habits to persuade it to return & stay for longer time. May be a month or more since it’s also been playing hide & seek since childhood & you’ve also gotten real good at the game & did well enough with minimal Sleep before your world turned upside down.
We hope your efforts could convince Sleep to be a good journey partner and be of help in overcoming your struggles.
The answer was published on DepNet
07/17/2008