Read diary

I hate myself!!!

A page in the diary "ugly and rejected me"
Written by sadat 05 March 2010 19:09

Another person around me confessed and got accepted

While ikeep getting rejected and snubbed.time..after time..i have no more self-confidence or pride left.. i feel like an ugly scarecrow...standing in the background.watching ppl finding ove one after another, and being ignored,overlooked,snubbed, forgotten and trampled over..

I hate my image in the mirror. So ugly and disgusting.. even if i chat with someone on msn more, the guy will just be gone forever on msn. Every guy turned me down..

A BIG LOSER like me should die.. NO amount of therapy can build my esteem.. IM SICK OF LIVING ON A LIE AND FALSE HOPE, EVERYDAY..TELLING MYSELF ITS OK..AND I WILL FIND THE ONE..WHEN PPL AROUND ME ARE FINDING LOVE ALMOST EFFORTLESS. ASK SOMEONE OUT FROM THE PAST AND IS OUTRIGHTLY REJECTED AGAIN..EVEN AFTER YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM REALLY SICK OF always being the one with the short end of life and bearing more and more miseries..while good blessings always befall on others..

GOD JUST KILL ME...SINCE U LIKE PUNISHING ME CONTINUOUSLY

Comments from the community

EVERYONE TREAT ME AS IF IM A PERSON WITHOUT VALUE

REJECTION LINES ARE WORST...LIKE HEY U SHLD GO AND KNOW MORE NEW PPL....

Written by sadat, 05 March 2010 19:24

learn to love yourself first

Written by Anonymous, 05 March 2010 21:26

Hi sadat,

It really is very hurtful. Although I don't have any experience in love relationships, being rejected by potential friends don't feel good either - and such things still happen to me now.

Initially I could't accept the advice of others to learn to love myself first, but now, I have been doing something similar for myself after sorting out some important thoughts and memories.

A person who rejects him or herself from deep within cannot attract others to do the same. I don't know why, but somehow you will get the same or similar results everytime, or almost everytime.

Let me ask you a hypothetical question: Would you want to be a friend to a person like yourself? If you do, for how long? I ask myself such questions too.

All or most romantic relationships starts from the friendship stage.

So if one finds it difficult to build and maintain a friendship, then it will most likely not be easy too for a romantic relationship - which is a higher step in the ladder of relationships.

There is DEFINITELY hope for you, sadat. You are not alone. At least, well, I'm someone experiencing similar things.

Just to let you know, I have not succeeded yet. I'm still trying - you don't want to know how many times I have failed. To be honest with you, I don't even have close female friend, let alone someone to start a love relationship with.

I would rather spend my time and energy doing what I can do, to keep on changing what I think I can change. Even if the results keep on disappointing me again and again.

You want to find love right? Then the only way is to understand what is love and what it means to love yourself and others; to love others like yourself, etc.

Will you be my travel companion in this search? I'm searching for friends for the moment, not love relationships yet though.

When you feel so painful that you wish to die, that you wish for God to take away your life, that maybe God would have wanted to say to you:

"Please do what you can to change. No matter what happens. Cos I'm always with you.

But when you are too caught up in your thoughts about hating yourself, somehow my voice doesn't reach you...

When your life is up, I will make sure you will be by my side.

So don't give up, sadat."

Something like that, I think. =)

Take care, sadat. ^_^

Written by nw4m, 07 March 2010 00:03

A person who rejects him or herself from deep within cannot attract others to do the same.

Correction: A person who rejects him or herself from deep within cannot attract others to feel like liking him or her, much less to love..

Written by nw4m, 07 March 2010 00:05

like you.. i always been rejected too... i nvr in a relationship at all. =(

Like you i have alot of -ve feelings and i will eat alots and fatty thing so as to make myself happy.

But in this whole life there is alot of things waiting for us to learn and do. There is alot of ppl out that thats need our care and helps.

so i started to do volunteer work in nursing home. That actually make me happy as i feel that i can contribute my love n care to the needed ones rather to the person that rejected me.

thinking and talking +ve do help =)

Written by guiltmonster, 09 March 2010 00:04

Tip a friend