Hi to all,
I'd like to thank the relevant person/people who took the time to craft the response to "Is there a real need to seek professional help" (dated 12 Jan 2009).
I've come to realise that I am worse than a dog. After reading the response, I suddenly remembered the seminal study done by Martin Seligman, where dogs were restrained and given electric shocks. After realising that there was no way that they could escape, they just remained there. Even dogs know that it is time to give up because no matter what happens the outcome is going to be the same...Shouldn't humans know it better given that humans possess higher cognitive capabilities?
I have decided to just let everything go. I just cannot bear putting in $100 and getting back only $10. This is simply too hard to bear. I have decided to stop pursuing the CFA designation after writing the Level 2 exam in June. To me that is like an unfunded liability - the commitment is not matched with assets of at least the same value. I have also come to realise that ultimately it does not matter whether or not I get the job I love, as at the end of the day the main reason for working is "To get money". I should be indifferent so long as the job pays me a reasonable salary. I no longer believe in terms like calling, career etc. It's just a means to get money.
Dear “I have finally made a decision to call it quits”
Thank you for updating us on your progress. “Seminal” is an excellent word to describe Martin Seligman’s early studies on organisms “learning to behave helplessly by avoiding ‘anticipated’ unpleasant or harmful circumstance, even when there are opportunities to help themselves.” As you know, these studies highlighted some questions that led to studies on “learned optimism”. Through this, Seligman redirected the “problem-focused” trend in psychology to “positive psychology”.
As you mentioned, given that “humans possess higher cognitive capabilities”, humans should know better. Unfortunately, having higher cognitive capabilities also means that humans have higher propensity & capability to make mistakes that dogs don’t. Eg. A dog can chase after a ball for a long time, enjoying the freedom of running & just having fun. Humans? Worry & over-analyze about how fast they run, how much time it takes, what they need to do after, what’s the benefit, their own & others opinions & expectations, etc instead of just enjoying the fresh air & having fun.
“Calling it quits” to everything because you feel that what you are getting is not commensurate with all your invested resources seems somewhat emotionally reactive. It’s ok to reject “to get money” or “calling, career” as reasons for working; how has doing this freed you to choose other reasons? Though we are all working “to get $$” (because realistically, all of us need it to get by even with a calling or career), you may have realized that it’s also how we use it. Given that humans have higher cognitive capabilities & propensities to justify our decisions, we can choose to merely exist. Or give up everything. Or give up the unhelpful bits. Or keep the useful bits. Or live well.
Regards,
Depnet