Let me first say that my standard of english is not as proficient as the ones that ive read in The Letterbox. Not being able to express myself is what i feel is the root of my problem. I know, reading will help and i've certainly heeded this advice but it seems that this fear is what thats making me, as what my friends say, too agitated.
Actions are really larger than words for me. I may seem as someone who is quiet by nature but it is actually because i have problems to even start a decent everyday-life conversation with my friends. And this is worsened by lack of capability to even fend myself. My teacher made it into such a big fuss by telling the class that the bookshop lady complained to her about a girl who always ask for new GP notes and that i was bringing unnecessary stress to her. She was referring to me. I feel so embarrassed cause i just cant see it in a positive light and the only thing i did in reaction of that: nothing. ps. im the GP rep. why im writing here is because i tend to give a not so positive response. i can imagine that if i were any of my classmates, i'd start laughing about it and take it as a compliment.
Whats worse, my friends think that im bearing a grudge on her with other incidents that had occured prior to that with one of it, causing me to cry openly.
ive told them that im immune to it now and no, i dont bear any grudges.
My classmates keep on giving me advice after advice from how to cope with it to just ignore that tch of ours. But i did not know that it is such a matter to the extent that even my form tch has been informed and he had personally came to me to make sure that i was alright and to see him if there's anything wrong.
is this a personality problem? what pple would say if they knew is, for me to open up more but i just cant seem to think of anything to speak to my friends about other than "whats the hwk for today?" and "what are you eating for lunch?"
i cant be open to my family members this time as they have always believed that to improve, ive got to listen to peoples advice. and i cant tell this to my secondary school friends (i miss them) as i do not want to burden them further with our hwk piling by the day.
so what should i do?
Dear “too agitated”
Thank you for writing to Depnet & we hoped that the process has helped somewhat in clarifying your thoughts. It sounds like you’re worrying lots about how you are doing, dissatisfaction with form teacher & disagreeing with advice / comments from people who meant well. You want help but don’t want to trouble others.
Life can be difficult when such conflicting demands are made. Has being aware that you are not open to suggestions from concerned others helped you to come up with alternative workable options to deal with your concerns? If not (other than writing to Depnet which’s not intended to be a substitute for face-to-face consultation), perhaps, it may be helpful to consult some trained professional, eg. school counsellor, to brainstorm. We wish that life could be simple & one needs only act to on what we can accept for it to be ok.
& it can be made easier or not so for ourselves. & it may start as simple & easy as “now, what do I want?” or “what’s important for me right now” or “what am I willing to do right now to get a better grip on things?” ….
Regards,
Depnet