About depression Help for depression Help for relatives The society DepNet Community My Depression

Public profile of: Annieluv

Emailsunnygal83sg@yahoo.com
GenderFemale
Age-
Location-
Homepage-
ICQ / MessengerIDlowanngeeliuanqi@hotmail.
Member sinceDec 18 2006
Last onlineJan 7 2009
I'm turning 20 this year.

I'm a bipolar disorder sufferer. Doctor arrived at this diagnosis after multiple changes of diagnosis of the different types of depression due to my behaviour and emotions, on top of my family history (one uncle suffered from bipolar disorder too.) I'm also diagnosed as being a sufferer of borderline personality disorder.

I'm also slightly anxious, with panic attacks occurring under certain situations which I find rather draining. Now it's much better with psychoeducation from books, and my psychologist and tranquilisers prescribed by my doc. I'm living an almost normal life (except for the times when I still feel suicidal), studying a part time course. My days consist of resting and studying, rushing assignments and some free-lance work to save up.

I hope that I can be healed and that I can seek solace in God and be able to be happy by myself.

I love to read and write and enjoys performing arts, loves singing and cooking for family. I enjoy spending time with friends and family but dislike being trapped in the dark with crowds and no way out and being isolated and ignored.

Clingy and paranoid, with pendulum like mood swings and manipulative behaviour. Few friends if any.

Right now, I'm doing my Bachelor of science in psychology. I'm hoping it can help me to be a more effective people helper. Right now, I am a second year student.

I'm a high functioning BPD who doesn't do well in close relationships. Yet my moods are what allows me to enjoy the things I do and I love experiencing the colours of life!

DateTitleReadsComments
10/04/2008Message1683
08/06/2008Assumptions1515
07/02/2008Choices we make1042
04/22/2008Time off - Please do not call unless called for.982
04/19/2008Reflecting about recent lessons learnt.1145
04/16/2008Discharged from SWC32135
03/30/2008Sad Girl admitted.28416
03/14/2008My sleep cycle sucks and feedback on bipolar and sleeping meds.1095
03/02/2008Damm tired862
02/23/2008Messy and pressured.1064
02/18/2008...... Who am I?15610
02/13/2008Off meds for now!914
02/10/2008Psych - Med Hospitalizations at CNY and tests and new semester1145
01/29/2008Living or Dead? There are worse than that...851
01/23/2008Of Bipolar fears and BPD... Sigh.954
01/16/2008Medications and therapy1305
12/22/2007Warning.1502
11/11/2007Pulling through suicidal feelings.1305
11/07/2007Difference between Bipolar and BPD.1126
10/15/2007Recovering mentally and physically810
10/05/2007Hypomanic and struggling with it?820
10/05/2007How come so many things are happening?1361
10/03/2007Bad1212
10/02/2007Increase in meds and Doc added new one.910
09/29/2007Exams over - burnt860
09/28/2007Glad that I'm alright - Be thankful for the small things943
09/23/2007Coping mechanisms on handling suicidal thoughts and feelings.1534
09/18/2007Moodswings slightly under control.740
09/15/2007Recalling901
09/11/2007Being discharged.850
09/08/2007Being considerate.1605
08/29/2007Saw Psychologist today and start of a new semester.891
08/23/2007Finally finished some of my work.1082
08/21/2007Looking forward to hols... When is MINE???851
08/19/2007Dealing with life and the reality of Bipolar.1124
08/17/2007Psy visits yesterday went well1031
08/13/2007Tortured at work.1414
08/10/2007Exam week1416
08/10/2007I hate you but please don't leave me.1211
08/06/2007Starting work and seeking satisfaction from it.700
08/04/2007Busy LOL1485
08/01/2007Deciding where to go.991
07/31/2007Change of diagnosis and in deep soup now.1365
07/21/2007Busy busy.1134
07/16/2007Been away for camp920
07/02/2007A step back1151
06/29/2007Visit to psychiatrist - an unsually good one.1561
06/25/2007Facing therapy and medical issues.1282
06/21/2007Being in pain.1443
06/18/2007Yesterday1191
06/16/2007Letting go1111
06/14/2007Back from the Hols.850
06/10/2007Away for the Hols.1212
06/08/2007Saw my doc. Increase in meds again.1754
06/06/2007Emotional rollercoaster.1131
06/04/2007Staying with one of us tonight.1110
06/03/2007Ended up not seeing my doc and hospitalised.1291
05/31/2007Seeing my doc this friday and lessons on Monday.1091
05/29/2007Away with...1141
05/25/2007Need assurance. I'm worrying too much.1472
05/24/2007Today I'm seeing my psychologist.1391
05/22/2007Hopefully I can study soon.1314
05/21/2007Considering what to do.550
05/19/2007Finishing and starting.1263
05/15/2007Still sick1234
05/13/2007I don't want to lose anyone, anymore....1111
05/12/2007Feeling sick and taking a break.750
05/11/2007From one of my OT sessions.. Not a very gd piece of poetry810
05/10/2007I don't want....1274
05/09/2007Ways that I've have learnt... thus far.710
05/06/2007Being more stable... on meds.1052
05/01/2007Pain of Borderline.1394
04/30/2007A story that was told to me.961
04/29/2007Living it by the day730
04/26/2007Back23812
04/19/2007I just want to study!1082
04/18/2007Only meds for now.890
04/17/2007Not knowing what is going to happen932
04/17/2007No way out.1003
04/15/2007A girl I know whom I care a lot.1051
04/14/2007School is starting... STRESS!851
04/13/2007Back home after 2 days!980
04/11/2007Feeling tired. *Sobs971
04/09/2007Only want the people around me to leave me be.830
04/08/2007Musings.962
04/06/2007Visit to psychiatrist1563
04/04/2007Updates.820
04/03/2007Sixth day. Rough but still hanging on.810
04/02/2007Leave me alone!!!1171
04/01/2007Tired of the reactivity of my moods.770
03/31/2007Finding it hard.792
03/28/2007Scared941
03/27/2007Not really knowing what to do.871
03/25/2007Grieving.1442
03/24/2007Feeling lazy.630
03/23/2007Bad progress.1102
03/22/2007Taking responsibility for one's life.1283
03/21/2007Hopes and fears.860
03/19/2007Deciding to take a break today.881
03/18/2007Sick and starting work tomorrow.1002
03/16/2007Alone1685
03/15/2007The pain of many, so hard to take.830
03/14/2007Holiday = family and friends time.740
03/13/2007Can I stop it? I am weary...1121
03/12/2007Holidays.760
03/11/2007Back.981
03/08/2007I need rest! Lots of it!!!1368
03/07/2007Taking a break.640
03/06/2007Horrible consultation.1283
03/04/2007Downward spiral811
03/03/2007Not very happy.1255
03/01/2007Not so nice session today.1032
02/28/2007Lost a job, beginning of rest and taking it easy.1083
02/25/2007Whirlwind.791
02/17/2007Plain tired and still rushing.730
02/14/2007Overloading???842
02/12/2007Struggles with self harm.1194
02/10/2007Tired of the doubts.881
02/09/2007Exasperation about BPD.800
02/08/2007Quite troubled...962
02/06/2007Trying...1003
02/03/2007Rushing here and there... Slightly overwhelmed.831
02/01/2007Upset and tired.1456
01/31/2007Issues. Nay!700
01/29/2007I'm so amazed.1233
01/28/2007Time to resolve my ambivalence about my meds. I've a life too!1112
01/27/2007Living life as it is.1285
01/24/2007What does tomorrow hold?982
01/22/2007I believe Shakespeare's quote that life is a stage. 1091
01/21/2007Skipping Medications *Trigger.860
01/20/2007Ok Lah! I will be a responsible girl. At least I will try, ok?1022
01/19/2007Tired of the raging battle. What am I anyway?1074
01/17/2007New Job at my former alma mater.913
01/16/2007This post is a little crazy. *WARNING - TRIGGER1070
01/14/2007Lost.1154
01/13/2007Hospital stay and addition of new drugs. Borderline.1707
01/11/2007Roller coaster.1092
01/09/2007Today, not so good bah.790
01/08/2007Scared of a relapse, the stress and everything.1112
01/06/2007Intro about me, at last. I'm not so nice lah.1335
01/05/2007STRESSED!!!1042
01/04/2007Anxiety and Fright.1397
01/03/2007Quiet time with God and reflection and Hopes.1305
01/02/2007Worrying in spite of a good day1558
12/31/2006New year933
12/30/2006Hospital visits.1352
12/28/2006Fights1113
12/26/2006Today after Christmas.670
12/25/2006Merry Christmas!1023
12/23/2006Giving up and narrowing it in1429
12/22/2006Tired after everything15311
12/21/2006Wondering841
12/20/2006Yesterday and Today1002
12/18/2006I'm happy at being chosen for the job! - and other snippets.1253